I’m trying to lose myself to find myself

Sum of my Parts - SunTempleFood.com

There is a story which has been often used, especially by motivational speakers and the like about the capture of monkeys in India. Apparently, a banana is placed in a bottle. The monkey is able to reach its hand in to get the banana and can remove its hand easily but not while keeping hold of the banana. The captor turns up and throws a sack over the monkey and bottle and the monkey loses its life. It could have let go and run off and maybe eaten a different fruit or an unencumbered banana, but lost its life instead because of its sheer determination to have that banana.

Do you see where I am going with this? I use this overworked story because it so beautifully illustrates me and many like me. I had a check list for my life. I set such high goals for myself, which often I reached but weirdly didn’t feel elation or joy, just exhaustion and a sense of “why did I do that?” I have achieved many things, like all of us, some of them extraordinary, on my journey but it is only in recent years that I am able to experience contentment.

In large part this contentment comes from not putting so much pressure on myself. On trusting the soft voice of my soul which I believe is divine, as opposed to the voice in my head which is my ego. Sun Temple grew out of me organically. I didn’t decide to create a website dedicated to healthy living, it evolved naturally, and continues to surprise and delight me.

I’m not saying that we don’t need to strive for ideals that drive us. What I am saying is that if we sit still quietly enough to truly listen to the sound of our own soul rather than the clamour created by the “shoulds” and “oughts” of life, then true happiness, contentment, is ours for the taking. Out of that contentment comes more generosity of spirit, greater kindness to others, unconditional love….all of that good stuff.

A very important realisation for me too is that if we “live with looseness” in other words don’t predestine (or try to) every step we take, then the path is open and situations, people, feelings, experiences have a space and can be welcomed and lived. How many times have you been disappointed because you couldn’t go somewhere or eat something (metaphorically) and the substitute, the thing you wouldn’t have chosen because maybe you didn’t know it existed, ends up being fabulous and you exclaim “wow! who knew?! If I hadn’t been disappointed I would never have learned that.”

I’m trying not to be that monkey. I remind myself often that there are many different fruits in the forest. I’m actually excited about what will come next, indeed how my life will continue to unfold.

– Germaine




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  • Reply
    July 29, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Oh Miss Germaine, I so needed to read this today. I am here by accident and unexpected circumstances, and for the most part acknowledge it as a ‘happy accident’, but just recently (following an ego bruising comment from someone), I’ve been comparing my current life to friends living the life I had planned for myself in beautiful cultural centres in Europe, and feeling a little envious/lost. The reality is my life is amazing and right on track. I am right where I’m meant to be…for now. I must not forget that, and embrace the “looseness” as you so perfectly put it. Thanks for the timely reminder.

    • Reply
      July 29, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      You are so welcome Vonnie. “Right here right now” is my current mantra….

  • Reply
    Maria Sorento
    July 29, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Just seen this pop up on Twitter and what a nice boost for a Wednesday afternoon. I think we all try to push ourselves too far, we’re our own worst enemies. It is only when you are reminded by others about life and the journey (as a bigger picture) that you allow yourself to reflect and pause for five minutes – just to grab it again. What a continuous circle of emotion we go over day in day out, the issue is that I don’t think it is spoken about as much as it is needed to be. Thanks for your thoughts, it has reminded me today and that was much needed – Maria x

    • Reply
      July 29, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      thanks for taking the time to let me know Maria. I really appreciate it. Right here, right now is all we actually have…….

  • Reply
    July 29, 2015 at 11:46 am

    So true. There is nothing wrong with ambition, but when we push ourselves too hard, other things get lost in the struggle.


  • Reply
    Colleen Camacho
    July 29, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Beautiful!!! Namaste!

  • Reply
    PrettyLusciousThings (@MsPrettyLThings)
    July 29, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    I find myself run ragged constantly & sometimes not happy with the choices I make. But what I need to remember is I can’t have everything and sometimes its okay to chill & see what fate has in store.

    Great post.


  • Reply
    August 3, 2015 at 9:42 am

    From the first time we met, Germaine, while you were moving, I knew right away that you are a “lighted” soul…Your approach to life, making sure your “temple” was respected, being in-tune with the fruits from your “farm”, your goals set with this website,….so many examples that are important in your life….We often have to sit down and smell the roses as they say, as we are indeed very blessed in every aspect of life…it seems the world is falling apart, as so many lies, corruptions, abuse, greed, etc is coming to the surface, but I try to live a very simple life, where I am in-tune with my Creator, where I find my true balance, and where I do ground myself with nature and Mother Earth, and to let love be my guide in all that I do. I am trying to be positive, no matter what, because your thoughts these days are very powerful and you do create what ever you think of, may it be positive or negative…More people are wakening up now and do set the paradigm for a new and bright future…And I can only embrace that “whole” heartedly…Let it be so !!!

    Namaste, I greet the Divine in you….

    • Reply
      August 3, 2015 at 9:49 am

      What a beautiful comment Marijke!! Thank you so much for taking the time to write it and to share with all Sun Templers. Positivity and love will spread if we continue to do our little bit. I return the greeting to the divine in you….

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